Some of these experts think cry it out methods are not good for babies. Pediatrician and "attachment parenting" advocate William Sears devotes an entire chapter of The Baby Sleep Book to a critique of cry it out approaches. Sears, along with no tears advocates such as Elizabeth Pantley (author of The No-Cry Sleep Solution), believes that cry it out techniques can give your child negative associations with bedtime and sleep that could last a lifetime.

This method involves more tears than the previous two; however, you don’t leave your baby unattended in the room at all. Here’s how the chair method works: start by doing your normal bedtime routine. Then, put a chair very near the crib, bassinet, or bed and sit on the chair as your baby falls asleep. The goal is not to help your child fall asleep, nor to help her calm down necessarily, depending on how you implement it. You are generally not supposed to give your child any attention. The reason you are in the chair is only to reassure them that you are there with them and have not left them alone. Each night you move the chair farther and farther away from the crib until you are right outside the door until eventually, you no longer need the chair at all.
"I tried Tracy Hogg's approach: Don't leave the baby to cry! Instead, when he starts up, go in there, pick him up, and love him until he stops. Once he's calm, lay him back down. If he starts crying again, repeat. Eventually he'll know it's time to sleep. Hogg said she had to do it 126 times with one child, but it dropped to 30 the next night, four the next, and soon she didn't have to do it at all. I tried this with my 3-month-old and it worked like a charm!"
As tempting as it is to rock your baby to sleep and then gently slide her into bed, doing that every night makes your little one more reliant on your help during those little middle of the night wakings. Of course, you can enjoy letting your baby sleep in your arms, but I suggest you also help her develop the skill to fall asleep on her own – and she can!
It might be strange to think of sleeping as a skill that does not come naturally. As a new parent, you’re probably so exhausted that you pass out as soon as your head hits the pillow. Your baby, however, doesn’t have this same ability yet. Although they spend a lot of time sleeping, they need to learn when to sleep (day vs. night) and how to sleep. Until they do, they need your assistance, which is why you (as you should) help soothe them to sleep at bedtime and comfort them when they wake in the middle of the night. Sleep training is teaching your baby how to sleep without any help from you - just like you’re able to fall asleep without anyone there to help you do it.

My baby just turned 10 months and up until now she’s been co-sleeping with me and being nursed back to sleep. However, she’s been waking so frequently neither of us seem to be getting any sleep. I recently started the CIO method, am now on the 3rd night and it’s very stressful as she cries for almost an hour before falling asleep. I tried this wake and sleep method before, but every time I’d lay her down she’d start crying. Is she maybe too old for this method or too dependent on being held while she sleeps? I’m not sure of what to do at this point but I NEED her to learn how to self soothe before I hit rock bottom.
I know a lot of my clients felt that way before they hired me! But I know it’s a concern that a lot of parents have when they’re thinking about getting some professional help with their little ones’ sleep habits. And it’s a valid question! After all, your mother managed to get you to sleep at some point. Your friend might have four kids who are all champion sleepers, so she should have some answers for you, right? Well, yes.. .and no!
It might be strange to think of sleeping as a skill that does not come naturally. As a new parent, you’re probably so exhausted that you pass out as soon as your head hits the pillow. Your baby, however, doesn’t have this same ability yet. Although they spend a lot of time sleeping, they need to learn when to sleep (day vs. night) and how to sleep. Until they do, they need your assistance, which is why you (as you should) help soothe them to sleep at bedtime and comfort them when they wake in the middle of the night. Sleep training is teaching your baby how to sleep without any help from you - just like you’re able to fall asleep without anyone there to help you do it.
While you may have read up on various sleep training methods while pregnant or in the early weeks of baby’s life, it’s a good idea to speak with your pediatrician before you start. For example, if your child is gaining weight slowly or was a preemie, he may not be ready to drop a nighttime feeding and may need a sleep-training schedule that’s adapted to a few middle-of-the-night wake-ups.

Hi @Adriana – Thank you for writing to us. Sorry to hear that your toddler is having issues with sleeping in her own crib and sleeping through the night! There are MANY parents that use gentle sleep training with their toddlers and even preschoolers and older! If that’s what you’re comfortable with – go for it! If you’d like help formulating a Plan just for her, please contact us for some more info and recommendations! Good luck Adriana!!


As tempting as it is to rock your baby to sleep and then gently slide her into bed, doing that every night makes your little one more reliant on your help during those little middle of the night wakings. Of course, you can enjoy letting your baby sleep in your arms, but I suggest you also help her develop the skill to fall asleep on her own – and she can!
Effective sleep-training tactics vary by family and even from one child to another. If crying it out hasn't stopped your baby's nighttime wakings, or simply isn't your style, there are no-cry sleep-training options. We spoke with Kim West, author of Good Night, Sleep Tight: The Sleep Lady's Gentle Guide to Helping Your Baby Go to Sleep and for tips on how to implement her "Sleep Lady Shuffle"—a gentle method of "teaching your child how to fall asleep on his own in a secure environment." And while West says some fussing is to be expected early on, her method doesn't involve shutting the door to your baby's room and leaving him to cry hysterically. Follow these steps to better snoozing in just a few weeks.
“I knew I didn’t want to sleep train, so I co-slept with my son until he was about 5 months old,” says Corinna, a mom of two. “At 5 months, I was able to put him in a room on his own, but I would attend to him if he cried. By 10 months, he was sleeping through the night on his own. Maybe I was lucky, but I felt like what worked best for our family was following his lead.”
There’s also no need to institute a regimented cry-it-out plan if what you’re currently doing is working for your family. But good sleep habits never hurt, and being able to fall asleep on one’s own is a necessary life skill. If you sleep-train at a time that’s developmentally appropriate for your baby and with the basic ingredients of healthy sleep in place, you can minimize the amount of crying your baby (and, let’s face it, you) will do.
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