The idea behind extinction (or full extinction to differentiate it from graduated extinction) is that you want to extinguish the behaviour (crying) by not responding to it. As with the check-and-console method, go through your bedtime routine, put them in their crib awake, say good night and walk out. This is certainly the most controversial sleep-training method, and even experts disagree on what you should do next—it all depends on what stage your baby is at developmentally, as well as what works for the parents.
Singing a few lullabies to set the mood, put her down while she’s settled, she’ll play with her hands and feet for about 10-15 minutes, she starts fussing so I give her a chance to settle (but never does), then it turns into full blown crying. I try to lull, shush, pick up and rock but it doesn’t help. It seems like she doesn’t want to be held nor put down. After crying so much that she turns blue and me rocking the life out of myself she falls asleep. I can’t put her down until she is in deep sleep otherwise she will wake.

There are many different sleep training methods to choose from, but the most common methods are one of or a variation of one the five we've explained below. You might find that one of these methods sounds like it would be a perfect match for you, OR you might find aspects from each plan that you like. Just like Melissa said, don't feel like you need to stick to a certain method 100%. Make the plan work for you! 
Melissa incorporated the Zen Sack into her bedtime routine with Theo because the gently weighted center of the Zen Sack helps to calm babies and aids in teaching them to self soothe- which is what sleep training is all about! The gently weighted center actually mimics your touch offering comfort and security to your baby, even when you’re not there. The extra bit of pressure from the Zen Sack has been shown to help babies feel calm and fall back to sleep easier...super helpful for starting sleep training!
"I have a 5 1/2-month-old baby girl who has never once in her life "cried it out." From night one in the hospital, she has slept with me. She is rocked and nursed to sleep and when she starts to grunt/wiggle beside me, I simply shift near enough for her to latch on to my breast, and she nurses back to a deep sleep before either of us fully wakes. I follow Dr. Sears' attachment style parenting and my baby has never once in all her life cried during the night or even fully woken up."
Fading, also known as adult fading or camping out, falls in the middle of the sleep training spectrum. In fading, parents gradually diminish their bedtime role by sitting near your baby until she falls asleep and gradually moving the chair farther away from the crib each night. Another fading approach is to check on your baby and reassure her (without picking her up) every five minutes until she falls asleep.
Healthy sleep is so important for your baby AND you! If your baby isn’t sleeping, chances are you aren’t either. Sleep deprivation in children has been linked to obesity, behavioral problems, learning issues, and more later on in life. Sleep deprivation in adults can lead to similar issues, and has even been shown to play a role in Postpartum Anxiety and even depression in parents. Teaching and establishing healthy sleep habits right from the start will make sleep training easier and, more importantly, help keep you and your baby well-rested!
First, let us introduce you to Melissa, mom of 6 month old Theo (@mohrlivingmama on Instagram). After struggling with sleep training, Melissa offered to share her personal story and best tips for other moms thinking of giving sleep training a try. Since it's always most helpful to hear from a mom who's been there, throughout our Sleep Training Guide Melissa will be sharing what worked for her and her son during sleep training. 
• Chair method. Also called the sleep lady shuffle or gradual withdrawal and popularized by Kim West, LCSW-C, author of Good Night, Sleep Tight, this method starts with you sitting in a chair next to baby’s crib. Each night, you move the chair farther away from the crib, verbally soothing or shushing baby when she cries (although occasional patting and picking up are okay) until you’re no longer in the room. This method can be helpful for older babies and toddlers who may suffer from separation anxiety and can understand that Mom and Dad are just on the other side of the door, but it also works for younger babies.

My baby slept through the night until he hit around 4 months. Now he’s a little past 5 months it’s like all sense of schedule went out the window. I did the CIO method and he now easily falls asleep when put down for bed time & nap time (most of the time sometimes he cries and needs a few more oz to eat) and for the most part will sleep till 4-5am. (Some nights he’ll be up a couple hours randomly wide awake) he used to nap 2 times a day for 1.5-2 hours each nap. Now all the sudden HE REFUSES TO NAP PERIOD! He wakes up and cries after 10-20 min of being laid down for the nap and CIO doesn’t work he’ll literally cry for 45 min (doing 5 min checks) and just ruin the whole nap. (Don’t criticize me for CIO- this was decided with his pediatrician so back off) any suggestions on why he is refusing to nap and what to do!!!

My baby is 5 weeks old. Since I brought her home she willll notttt lay down to sleep on her back by herself hardly everrrrr. I breast feed her and she falls asleep, but when transferring her, she instantly squirms and fusses until eventually she cries and I pick her up. She won’t take a pacifier, won’t sleep in a swaddle loose or tight, won’t sleep in a swing, vibrate, white noise, etc. Nothing. Suggestions? Sometimes during the day I can let her fall asleep on me and then transfer her but I can NEVER do this during the night, she just wants to constantly be in my arms. Help!
Singing a few lullabies to set the mood, put her down while she’s settled, she’ll play with her hands and feet for about 10-15 minutes, she starts fussing so I give her a chance to settle (but never does), then it turns into full blown crying. I try to lull, shush, pick up and rock but it doesn’t help. It seems like she doesn’t want to be held nor put down. After crying so much that she turns blue and me rocking the life out of myself she falls asleep. I can’t put her down until she is in deep sleep otherwise she will wake.
• Weissbluth method. This sleep-training method suggests you set up a bedtime routine (bath, book, lullaby), then put baby to sleep, shut the door and don’t re-enter until the next morning. “I tried this, and the first night was awful,” says Jen, a mom of one, who did the Weissbluth method at 4 months. “I turned on the shower and sat in the bathroom so I wouldn’t hear my son cry. But I was watching the baby monitor and saw that after an hour, he found his thumb and fell asleep. The next night was maybe 40 minutes of crying, then 20 minutes the night after that. He’s always happy in the morning, and I feel this was the right choice.”

Raising a healthy sleeper starts with a consistent bedtime routine. You can start enforcing this when your baby is roughly six weeks old. At the same time every night, read a book together, sing songs, and feed your baby before putting him or her into the crib. It may also help to get your child up at the same time every morning and put him down for naps at regular times.


• Know there will be regressions. Teething, illness, vacation and routine shifts all can lead to poor sleep, and that’s all right, Vance says. “Often, you may have to go back to training for a day or two to get back on track, but you won’t lose ground. If your child has been trained to be a good sleeper, one week off schedule because of vacation won’t change that.”
• Have a solid bedtime routine. Experts say that regardless of which sleep-training method you use, having a stable bedtime—between 5:30 and 7:30 p.m. for infants, Vance suggests—and a steady routine are key. Whether it’s bath, book, lullaby, bed or a different sequence, doing the same thing every evening is part of the bedrock of good sleep hygiene. Blackout curtains and a white noise app may also help.

Some experts suggest techniques that are slightly different than these methods. Perhaps the best known is pediatrician Harvey Karp, author of The Happiest Baby on the Block. His method suggests a very specific routine involving the so-called five S's: swaddling, the side or stomach position (for calming your baby, not for sleeping), shushing, swinging, and sucking.


Simply put, sleep training—also called sleep teaching or sleep learning—is the process of helping your infant learn how to fall asleep and stay asleep. It’s also become a pretty controversial topic, with experts and parents speaking for or against various sleep-training techniques. “It’s like talking politics,” says TJ Gold, MD, a pediatrician at Tribeca Pediatrics in New York City. “But there’s no one right way to get your child to sleep through the night. There are a lot of different ways.”
• Have a solid bedtime routine. Experts say that regardless of which sleep-training method you use, having a stable bedtime—between 5:30 and 7:30 p.m. for infants, Vance suggests—and a steady routine are key. Whether it’s bath, book, lullaby, bed or a different sequence, doing the same thing every evening is part of the bedrock of good sleep hygiene. Blackout curtains and a white noise app may also help.
If you’re on the fence about sleep training, it can be helpful to think of it this way: What is my baby’s developmental need right now? “At 11 months, they don’t need to eat during the night but they do need consistent sleep,” says Garden. Yes, those nights of crying are heartbreaking. But chances are, if you’re considering sleep training, it’s because what you’re currently doing isn’t working for you.
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