My baby is 5 weeks old. Since I brought her home she willll notttt lay down to sleep on her back by herself hardly everrrrr. I breast feed her and she falls asleep, but when transferring her, she instantly squirms and fusses until eventually she cries and I pick her up. She won’t take a pacifier, won’t sleep in a swaddle loose or tight, won’t sleep in a swing, vibrate, white noise, etc. Nothing. Suggestions? Sometimes during the day I can let her fall asleep on me and then transfer her but I can NEVER do this during the night, she just wants to constantly be in my arms. Help!

One common misconception about sleep training babies (also called sleep coaching) is that there’s only one way to do it. But this could not be further from the truth! In reality, there are a number of ways many parents can work to help their babies develop healthy sleep habits and stop waking up in the middle of the night or taking short naps. Some methods involve crying, but others involve little to no tears and are very gentle.

McKenna advises against sleep training and encouraging babies to sleep for long stretches at night. Instead, he urges parents to follow their babies' cues and allow them to wake frequently through the night to feed. A strong advocate for co-sleeping, McKenna encourages bed-sharing and other co-sleeping arrangements, such as putting the baby in a bassinet or crib at the parent's bedside, while also following standard SIDS safety precautions – for example, making sure there are no blankets or stuffed animals around him.


"By the time your baby is 3 months old and has developed a fairly predictable 24-hour pattern, it becomes more important for you to provide increasingly consistent structure. If you do your best to establish a reasonable and consistent daily routine and keep to it as much as possible, then it is likely that your child will continue to develop good patterns. If instead you allow the times of your child's feedings, playtimes, baths, and other activities to change constantly, chances are his sleep will become irregular as well."
My lo completed 3 months this month 1st. She hardly crosses 1 sleep cycle (40-50 mins). I try extending her nap by patting,holding her, rocking . Sometimes, she sleeps but most of the time she fights and refuses to nap again. She cries and fusses till next nap cycle off and on. Is it sleep regression? Am at my wits end. Her nighttime is getting worst day by day. She Is up every hour or two. Things are getting worse . She used to give 6 hr stretch then 3 hrs. Should I start sleep training? She is almost 16 weeks.
"My 3-month-old doesn't sleep through the night, and it's fine with me. I keep her in her crib or a bassinet until her 3 a.m. feeding, and then she joins my husband and me until we get up for work. She won't go in her crib unless she's already asleep, usually from nursing and rocking, but she'll fall asleep in her bassinet beside our bed. She's happy and we're happy, and even if it goes against the wisdom of the experts, it's working for us."

This is considered a ‘cry’ method of sleep training. This technique entails allowing your baby to cry while checking on him at intervals. The goal here is to reassure him every so often that you are nearby and to reassure yourself that he is okay. When you go to check on your baby, you are not “supposed” to pick him up nor engage him much, but simply reassure him using your voice and a loving pat for 2-3 minutes, tops (watch the clock!). With this sleep training method, the goal is NOT to help baby fall asleep – that is what he is learning to do on his own! Instead, the idea is that he falls asleep on his own, in the same “environment” in which he will awaken periodically throughout the night. The knowledge of how to fall asleep unassisted at bedtime will pave the way for him/her to go BACK to sleep throughout the night. Over time, you gradually increase the amount of time between your ‘checks’. See a more detailed step-by-step explanation of this method here: The Ferber Method
"I have a 3-month-old who I rock at night. He falls asleep very quickly (much quicker than if I leave him in his crib). If he wakes in the middle of the night, we go to him and comfort him. We don't take him out – we just help soothe him. Why make him feel lonely and abandoned? I have no problem losing a little sleep if it means that he feels like we will be there for him."
While researching the different sleep training methods to decide which one is right for you, also remember that every baby and every family is different. What one mom swears by, another mom swears off. You will see the most success from sleep training if you use your intuition to pick a method that you know you and your baby will be comfortable with.
Healthy sleep is so important for your baby AND you! If your baby isn’t sleeping, chances are you aren’t either. Sleep deprivation in children has been linked to obesity, behavioral problems, learning issues, and more later on in life. Sleep deprivation in adults can lead to similar issues, and has even been shown to play a role in Postpartum Anxiety and even depression in parents. Teaching and establishing healthy sleep habits right from the start will make sleep training easier and, more importantly, help keep you and your baby well-rested!
The most well known cry it out technique is the one developed by pediatrician Richard Ferber, director of the Center for Pediatric Sleep Disorders at Children's Hospital Boston. Ferber says that in order to fall asleep on their own and sleep through the night, babies have to learn to soothe themselves. Ferber believes that teaching a baby to soothe himself may involve leaving him alone to cry for prescribed periods of time.
• No tears method. Created by sleep expert Elizabeth Pantley, this technique, also known as the no-cry method, involves subtly shifting your child’s sleep habits. For example, one trick, known as “fading,” suggests gradually easing out of baby’s go-to sleep strategy. For instance, if she always needs to be rocked, you would rock less and less until you can put her down to sleep without any rocking. Another technique, called substitution, switches out the routine—so if baby always nurses before bedtime, read a book instead.
The biggest reason why the solutions that work for one parent don’t work for another is simple. They’re not dealing with the same baby. Some babies are heavily reliant on sleep props. Others can’t sleep in a room that’s too warm. Some may not be getting enough daytime sleep, and others might be overtired. This baby might have developed an association between feeding and falling asleep, whereas that one might be ready to drop their second daytime nap. And, of course, it could be any combination of all of the above, or the many other sleep challenges that babies might experience.

"The more practice your baby gets putting himself to sleep, the quicker the process works. He will fall asleep on his own, and you will get the sleep you need...Don't wait too long, though. The earlier, the better. Remember, once your baby gets older – that is, at least 5 or 6 months – the process of getting your child on a sleep schedule and to sleep through the night gets more difficult."


"By the time your baby is 3 months old and has developed a fairly predictable 24-hour pattern, it becomes more important for you to provide increasingly consistent structure. If you do your best to establish a reasonable and consistent daily routine and keep to it as much as possible, then it is likely that your child will continue to develop good patterns. If instead you allow the times of your child's feedings, playtimes, baths, and other activities to change constantly, chances are his sleep will become irregular as well."

Hogg agrees with Sears that sleep associations should be positive but disagrees with his techniques. She cautions against letting your baby depend on "props" such as nursing, patting, and rocking to get to sleep. Instead, Hogg's approach calls for going to your baby when he cries, picking him up, and putting him back down as many times as necessary.
"My 5-month-old was waking every two hours at night. I was so tired I wanted to die. I finally caved in, put in earplugs, and let him cry it out – which he did, all night! But then, something amazing happened the next night: He slept a full 12 hours and awoke rosy and cheerful. It's been that way ever since, and he's even a better napper now. I know that it is hard to listen to your precious little one cry, but a sleep-deprived, miserable mom and baby is a terrible thing too."

Before you start any sleep-training method, make sure all the necessary people are on board. Talk to your pediatrician to rule out any underlying medical condition, such as reflux or GERD, sleep apnea, or allergies, that may be keeping your child awake at night. Then make sure you and your partner are on the same page; plan together how you'll react to wakings at given times. If your 10-month-old is nursing six times a night, both of you must agree that you'll feed him once before bed, then not again until morning.
One of the biggest mistakes parents make, no matter what method they use, is being inconsistent. At some point your little one will cry for you in the middle of the night, even if you think you've all made it over the sleep-training hump. Go to his cribside to check on him and make sure all is well—just be sure not to restart an old sleep crutch during this check. After that, try comforting him from outside the door, if you can. If you regress due to illness or travel, get back on the training wagon as soon as possible. Otherwise you risk sabotaging the weeks of hard work you've already put in.
There’s an awful lot of information on how to sleep train out there, leaving most parents confused, frustrated, and still wondering what sleep training is and how to do it. In this article, we’ve rounded up all the facts from real moms and professional sleep consultants on what sleep training is, how to do it, and how to decide if it’s right for you.
Pantley offers a gentle and gradual approach to all aspects of sleep, customized to your baby's needs. She recommends rocking and feeding your baby to the point of drowsiness before putting him down – and responding immediately if he cries. Parents are urged to keep sleep logs, nap logs, and night-waking logs. Pantley also describes a six-phase process for teaching a child to sleep in a crib.
Hi @Farzana – Thanks for writing, and I’m sorry to hear that getting your little one to fall asleep has been so tough! We definitely understand how tough this can be! It sounds like you’re working hard to get her sleeping better! It could have been the 4 month sleep regression, that is still causing issues! Since you’ve been doing your reading and research, and you’re still struggling, I’d recommend one on one help from one of our consultants. This way, she can look at your daughter’s full sleep history, and create a Plan with you to get her on a good schedule and falling asleep on her own again!

There are various schools of thought on sleep training. Some sleep-training methods fall under the umbrella of “gentle sleep training,” which generally means you’re still going to pick up, rock and soothe baby if she cries. Other methods, often under the “extinction” label, advise parents to let baby self-soothe for the entire night and not open the door until morning. Neither of these methods are right or wrong—it all depends on what works best for you and your family.
This is a very gentle, no-tears/no-cry (or very little cry) method of sleep coaching where you “fade it out” (FIO). With the Fading method, you continue to help your baby fall asleep (by rocking or feeding to sleep, for instance), but over time, you gradually do less and less of the ‘work’ to put your baby to sleep, and your baby does more and more. For instance, if you normally rock your baby completely to sleep, you may shorten the amount of time you rock each night until you are rocking for only a few minutes only as a part of the bedtime routine. This method requires quite a bit of patience on the parent’s part, in some cases, but it’s great for families who want to minimize crying as much as possible.
The biggest reason why the solutions that work for one parent don’t work for another is simple. They’re not dealing with the same baby. Some babies are heavily reliant on sleep props. Others can’t sleep in a room that’s too warm. Some may not be getting enough daytime sleep, and others might be overtired. This baby might have developed an association between feeding and falling asleep, whereas that one might be ready to drop their second daytime nap. And, of course, it could be any combination of all of the above, or the many other sleep challenges that babies might experience.
Fifteen minutes is all you need to perform a soothing bedtime ritual that will help your baby's mind and body prepare for sleep. Remain in his nursery or near his crib and choose the same two or three quiet, calm activities, such as reading or singing. Be sure to keep anything stimulating (tickling, TV) out of the equation. For babies over 6 months, incorporate a favorite stuffed animal or blanket into the routine.
"My 3-month-old doesn't sleep through the night, and it's fine with me. I keep her in her crib or a bassinet until her 3 a.m. feeding, and then she joins my husband and me until we get up for work. She won't go in her crib unless she's already asleep, usually from nursing and rocking, but she'll fall asleep in her bassinet beside our bed. She's happy and we're happy, and even if it goes against the wisdom of the experts, it's working for us."
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