This method involves more tears than the previous two; however, you don’t leave your baby unattended in the room at all. Here’s how the chair method works: start by doing your normal bedtime routine. Then, put a chair very near the crib, bassinet, or bed and sit on the chair as your baby falls asleep. The goal is not to help your child fall asleep, nor to help her calm down necessarily, depending on how you implement it. You are generally not supposed to give your child any attention. The reason you are in the chair is only to reassure them that you are there with them and have not left them alone. Each night you move the chair farther and farther away from the crib until you are right outside the door until eventually, you no longer need the chair at all.
"My son is 6 months old and finally goes to sleep without a struggle! We thought the Ferber method was mean and that alternatives would be better. So we tried it all – Baby Whisperer, No-Cry Sleep Solution, Babywise, etc. None of it worked. Our son is an otherwise happy little guy, but every night and every nap was a battle. We'd spend hours trying to get him to sleep. We delayed trying Ferber until we'd tried everything else unsuccessfully. It worked after the first night! He wakes up better rested and happier (as do we)."

• Ferber method. Also known as timed-interval sleep training, modified sleep training or graduated extinction sleep training, parents using this method put baby down to sleep even if he’s crying, then return to check on him at different time intervals —every five, 10 and 15 minutes, and so on. You don’t pick baby up during these checks but can verbally soothe or pat him. Gradually, the intervals will get longer until eventually baby is sleeping through the night. “We did Ferber once my son was 8 months old. He got the hang of it pretty quickly and has been sleeping on his own for 10 to 12 hours ever since,” says Anika, a mom of one.


As we previously mentioned, introducing healthy sleep habits and routines as early as possible will help significantly during sleep training. If you haven’t already, try to establish a bedtime routine before you start sleep training baby — this will encourage healthy baby sleep patterns. This should be a series of soothing activities that help to calm your baby and prepare them for sleep - things like swaddling, bathing, and rocking usually work well, but every family’s routine will look different.
Hi @Adriana – Thank you for writing to us. Sorry to hear that your toddler is having issues with sleeping in her own crib and sleeping through the night! There are MANY parents that use gentle sleep training with their toddlers and even preschoolers and older! If that’s what you’re comfortable with – go for it! If you’d like help formulating a Plan just for her, please contact us for some more info and recommendations! Good luck Adriana!!

If you have a hard time remembering how many times your baby woke last night, much less how she slept last week, a log will help you notice patterns. After a week of tracking her days and nights, start by figuring out her ideal bedtime. You might say, "Oh, she's always fussy at 7 p.m.—that's probably when I should be putting her down, and I'm missing the window." A log will also let you see that your baby may not have cried during the night for as long as you thought. Five minutes of fussing can feel like 50 when it's 2 a.m.
"My 5-month-old was waking every two hours at night. I was so tired I wanted to die. I finally caved in, put in earplugs, and let him cry it out – which he did, all night! But then, something amazing happened the next night: He slept a full 12 hours and awoke rosy and cheerful. It's been that way ever since, and he's even a better napper now. I know that it is hard to listen to your precious little one cry, but a sleep-deprived, miserable mom and baby is a terrible thing too."
Melissa incorporated the Zen Sack into her bedtime routine with Theo because the gently weighted center of the Zen Sack helps to calm babies and aids in teaching them to self soothe- which is what sleep training is all about! The gently weighted center actually mimics your touch offering comfort and security to your baby, even when you’re not there. The extra bit of pressure from the Zen Sack has been shown to help babies feel calm and fall back to sleep easier...super helpful for starting sleep training!
"I tried Tracy Hogg's approach: Don't leave the baby to cry! Instead, when he starts up, go in there, pick him up, and love him until he stops. Once he's calm, lay him back down. If he starts crying again, repeat. Eventually he'll know it's time to sleep. Hogg said she had to do it 126 times with one child, but it dropped to 30 the next night, four the next, and soon she didn't have to do it at all. I tried this with my 3-month-old and it worked like a charm!"
My baby is 5 weeks old. Since I brought her home she willll notttt lay down to sleep on her back by herself hardly everrrrr. I breast feed her and she falls asleep, but when transferring her, she instantly squirms and fusses until eventually she cries and I pick her up. She won’t take a pacifier, won’t sleep in a swaddle loose or tight, won’t sleep in a swing, vibrate, white noise, etc. Nothing. Suggestions? Sometimes during the day I can let her fall asleep on me and then transfer her but I can NEVER do this during the night, she just wants to constantly be in my arms. Help!
"By the time your baby is 3 months old and has developed a fairly predictable 24-hour pattern, it becomes more important for you to provide increasingly consistent structure. If you do your best to establish a reasonable and consistent daily routine and keep to it as much as possible, then it is likely that your child will continue to develop good patterns. If instead you allow the times of your child's feedings, playtimes, baths, and other activities to change constantly, chances are his sleep will become irregular as well."
It might be strange to think of sleeping as a skill that does not come naturally. As a new parent, you’re probably so exhausted that you pass out as soon as your head hits the pillow. Your baby, however, doesn’t have this same ability yet. Although they spend a lot of time sleeping, they need to learn when to sleep (day vs. night) and how to sleep. Until they do, they need your assistance, which is why you (as you should) help soothe them to sleep at bedtime and comfort them when they wake in the middle of the night. Sleep training is teaching your baby how to sleep without any help from you - just like you’re able to fall asleep without anyone there to help you do it.

Sears emphasizes a nurturing, child-centered approach to sleep and warns parents to be wary of one-size-fits-all sleep training. He recommends patiently helping your baby learn to sleep in his own time. He encourages co-sleeping, rocking and nursing your baby to sleep, and other forms of physical closeness to create positive sleep associations now and healthy sleep habits down the road.
• Ferber method. Also known as timed-interval sleep training, modified sleep training or graduated extinction sleep training, parents using this method put baby down to sleep even if he’s crying, then return to check on him at different time intervals —every five, 10 and 15 minutes, and so on. You don’t pick baby up during these checks but can verbally soothe or pat him. Gradually, the intervals will get longer until eventually baby is sleeping through the night. “We did Ferber once my son was 8 months old. He got the hang of it pretty quickly and has been sleeping on his own for 10 to 12 hours ever since,” says Anika, a mom of one.
My baby is 5 weeks old. Since I brought her home she willll notttt lay down to sleep on her back by herself hardly everrrrr. I breast feed her and she falls asleep, but when transferring her, she instantly squirms and fusses until eventually she cries and I pick her up. She won’t take a pacifier, won’t sleep in a swaddle loose or tight, won’t sleep in a swing, vibrate, white noise, etc. Nothing. Suggestions? Sometimes during the day I can let her fall asleep on me and then transfer her but I can NEVER do this during the night, she just wants to constantly be in my arms. Help!
If you have a hard time remembering how many times your baby woke last night, much less how she slept last week, a log will help you notice patterns. After a week of tracking her days and nights, start by figuring out her ideal bedtime. You might say, "Oh, she's always fussy at 7 p.m.—that's probably when I should be putting her down, and I'm missing the window." A log will also let you see that your baby may not have cried during the night for as long as you thought. Five minutes of fussing can feel like 50 when it's 2 a.m.
There are various schools of thought on sleep training. Some sleep-training methods fall under the umbrella of “gentle sleep training,” which generally means you’re still going to pick up, rock and soothe baby if she cries. Other methods, often under the “extinction” label, advise parents to let baby self-soothe for the entire night and not open the door until morning. Neither of these methods are right or wrong—it all depends on what works best for you and your family.
Also on the far end of the cry it out spectrum is the Baby Wise approach by pediatrician Robert Bucknam and co-author Gary Ezzo. In their book On Becoming Baby Wise, they advise against feeding babies on demand around the clock and instead advocate a parent-led feeding, wake, and sleep schedule. Their method involves following a strict nap and sleep schedule and putting your baby down awake so she can learn to soothe herself to sleep. This means there will be some crying, especially at first, as your baby adjusts to your schedule.

McKenna advises against sleep training and encouraging babies to sleep for long stretches at night. Instead, he urges parents to follow their babies' cues and allow them to wake frequently through the night to feed. A strong advocate for co-sleeping, McKenna encourages bed-sharing and other co-sleeping arrangements, such as putting the baby in a bassinet or crib at the parent's bedside, while also following standard SIDS safety precautions – for example, making sure there are no blankets or stuffed animals around him.
Nicole Johnson is the founder and lead sleep consultant of The Baby Sleep Site®. Since she began in 2008, and with the help of her team of sleep consultants, she has helped over 40,000 families improve their sleep. She has also held a position on the board of the International Association of Child Sleep Consultants (IACSC) since 2015. Millions of visitors land on The Baby Sleep Site each year, and Nicole and her team are here to find solutions for your family’s sleep problems that will match your baby's temperament and your parenting style.

There's never a perfect time to start sleep training. But if you're using the Sleep Lady Shuffle method, it's best to start when you know you'll have at least three weeks without any changes in time zone, cribs, or bedrooms—especially if your baby is alert and sensitive. The most popular night to begin is Friday because of the upcoming weekend. Some parents use vacation days so they won't have to worry about being at work in the morning. And remember that you'll always be more successful if your baby has been napping well.
Parents often wonder how to know if your child needs sleep training or if their sleep habits are just something they’ll grow out of. If your baby is consistently cranky and overtired, it's probably time to look into helping them become a better sleeper. And as Melissa noted, she started sleep training the second time around because she could tell her son was just as frustrated as she was about not sleeping!
It’s okay if you’re not ready. You aren’t missing out on sleep training if you skip it at 4 months: You truly can start sleep training at any age, even in the toddler years, although experts say it’s smart to be aware of developmental milestones and adjust baby’s sleep schedule accordingly. For example, the week baby learns to walk may be tough to implement a sleep-training schedule, and even a sleep-trained baby may see a regression simply because he’s going through such a developmental shift.
My baby just turned 10 months and up until now she’s been co-sleeping with me and being nursed back to sleep. However, she’s been waking so frequently neither of us seem to be getting any sleep. I recently started the CIO method, am now on the 3rd night and it’s very stressful as she cries for almost an hour before falling asleep. I tried this wake and sleep method before, but every time I’d lay her down she’d start crying. Is she maybe too old for this method or too dependent on being held while she sleeps? I’m not sure of what to do at this point but I NEED her to learn how to self soothe before I hit rock bottom.
Proponents of these sleep training methods say it's okay for your child to cry when you put him to bed and leave the room, although they don't advocate letting a baby cry indefinitely. Typically, these methods suggest putting your baby to bed when he's still awake and allowing short periods of crying punctuated by comforting (but not picking up) your child.
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