I know a lot of my clients felt that way before they hired me! But I know it’s a concern that a lot of parents have when they’re thinking about getting some professional help with their little ones’ sleep habits. And it’s a valid question! After all, your mother managed to get you to sleep at some point. Your friend might have four kids who are all champion sleepers, so she should have some answers for you, right? Well, yes.. .and no!
"A young child cannot yet understand what is best for him, and he may cry if he does not get what he wants," Ferber writes. "If he wanted to play with a sharp knife, you would not give it to him no matter how hard he cried, and you would not feel guilty or worry about psychological consequences. Poor sleep patterns are also harmful for your child and it is your job to correct them."

• Pick-up-put-down method. In this sleep-training method, you put your child to bed while he’s awake and check on him at gradual intervals, as you do with the Ferber method. Unlike with Ferber, you can pick him up and comfort him, holding him for a few minutes before putting him down. Eventually baby will become drowsy enough to fall asleep on his own.
"My son is 6 months old and finally goes to sleep without a struggle! We thought the Ferber method was mean and that alternatives would be better. So we tried it all – Baby Whisperer, No-Cry Sleep Solution, Babywise, etc. None of it worked. Our son is an otherwise happy little guy, but every night and every nap was a battle. We'd spend hours trying to get him to sleep. We delayed trying Ferber until we'd tried everything else unsuccessfully. It worked after the first night! He wakes up better rested and happier (as do we)."
That said, sleep training isn’t a must-do for everyone, and many families who skip sleep training go on to have a child who learns to sleep through the night on her own. “It’s your family and your child, and I think there’s a misconception that pediatricians will force sleep training on your family, when that’s not the case,” Gold says. Experts emphasize that the best approach to sleep training is the one that fits your family.
• DIY methods work. Don’t love the rigidity of a particular method? Modify it to suit your own family’s circumstances. Sometimes, a sleep coach can be helpful to come up with modifications that won’t affect the goal of getting baby to sleep through the night, but it’s fine to mix and match until you find a strategy you’re comfortable with. “I don’t think I’ve ever loved and loathed anything as much as I do sleep training. We did it with my son because he was still waking up every three hours at 3.5 months old, and I felt it was more out of habit,” says Margaret, a mom of one. “My husband and I decided that we valued teaching him self-soothing and that in the long run it was worth some short-term effort. I did a ton of research and came up with our own plan—similar to Ferber, but our time limits of letting him fuss weren’t as rigid. It worked, and he’s been a solid sleeper since.”
"I have a 3-month-old who I rock at night. He falls asleep very quickly (much quicker than if I leave him in his crib). If he wakes in the middle of the night, we go to him and comfort him. We don't take him out – we just help soothe him. Why make him feel lonely and abandoned? I have no problem losing a little sleep if it means that he feels like we will be there for him."
Singing a few lullabies to set the mood, put her down while she’s settled, she’ll play with her hands and feet for about 10-15 minutes, she starts fussing so I give her a chance to settle (but never does), then it turns into full blown crying. I try to lull, shush, pick up and rock but it doesn’t help. It seems like she doesn’t want to be held nor put down. After crying so much that she turns blue and me rocking the life out of myself she falls asleep. I can’t put her down until she is in deep sleep otherwise she will wake.

Melissa incorporated the Zen Sack into her bedtime routine with Theo because the gently weighted center of the Zen Sack helps to calm babies and aids in teaching them to self soothe- which is what sleep training is all about! The gently weighted center actually mimics your touch offering comfort and security to your baby, even when you’re not there. The extra bit of pressure from the Zen Sack has been shown to help babies feel calm and fall back to sleep easier...super helpful for starting sleep training!
Healthy sleep is so important for your baby AND you! If your baby isn’t sleeping, chances are you aren’t either. Sleep deprivation in children has been linked to obesity, behavioral problems, learning issues, and more later on in life. Sleep deprivation in adults can lead to similar issues, and has even been shown to play a role in Postpartum Anxiety and even depression in parents. Teaching and establishing healthy sleep habits right from the start will make sleep training easier and, more importantly, help keep you and your baby well-rested!

This sleep training technique usually involves quite a bit of crying on your baby’s part for the first couple of nights but some say it tends to be less crying, overall, since sleep training is ‘done’ faster (for many, but not all, people). The way it works is simple – you do your bedtime routine, put your baby to bed awake, and then leave the room without returning for checks. If your baby cries, you are not supposed to go in to check on her; instead, you let her ‘cry it out’ on her own. The thinking here is that if you allow your baby to cry for a period of time, but then go in and ‘rescue’ her, you have all but guaranteed that she will cry for that amount of time the next night because she will expect you to come and “rescue” her again.
Sleep training advocates in this category encourage a more gradual approach – soothing the baby to sleep and offering comfort right away when the child cries. Pediatrician William Sears, author of The Baby Sleep Book, is a leading proponent. Parent educator Elizabeth Pantley outlines a step-by-step no tears approach in her book The No-Cry Sleep Solution.
"I have a 3-month-old who I rock at night. He falls asleep very quickly (much quicker than if I leave him in his crib). If he wakes in the middle of the night, we go to him and comfort him. We don't take him out – we just help soothe him. Why make him feel lonely and abandoned? I have no problem losing a little sleep if it means that he feels like we will be there for him."

This is a very gentle, no-tears/no-cry (or very little cry) method of sleep coaching where you “fade it out” (FIO). With the Fading method, you continue to help your baby fall asleep (by rocking or feeding to sleep, for instance), but over time, you gradually do less and less of the ‘work’ to put your baby to sleep, and your baby does more and more. For instance, if you normally rock your baby completely to sleep, you may shorten the amount of time you rock each night until you are rocking for only a few minutes only as a part of the bedtime routine. This method requires quite a bit of patience on the parent’s part, in some cases, but it’s great for families who want to minimize crying as much as possible.
Hi we have been trying to sleep train our 5 month baby boy but when he is drowsy or almost asleep, we can’t put him down. He will start moving, scratching, twisting, turning and eventually wake up and start crying. We are not sure what else to do. Pacifiers soothe him but he likes to use his hands on them and ultimately takes them out by accident and starts to cry. Is there any suggestions at your end? Your kind response will be much appreciated.
Prepare yourself for a few difficult nights. Hearing your baby cry can be excruciating, as every parent knows. During the waiting periods, set a timer and go to a different part of the house, or turn on some music, so you don't have to hear every whimper. As one BabyCenter parent says, "The first week could be rough. Try to relax and know that when it's all over, everyone in your household is going to sleep more easily and happily."
Thanks for the articule. I’ve bien searching around so desperately for something that can help my 14 mo girl. My girl doesn’t sleep thru the night and also doesn’t fall asleep on her crib. If I lay her in bed she moves around until she falls asleep, but if I try the same in bed she cries and scream so hard and so long (she has a strong temper). Would like to try a gentle method but they seem to be suited for little babies, not this age.
Some experts suggest techniques that are slightly different than these methods. Perhaps the best known is pediatrician Harvey Karp, author of The Happiest Baby on the Block. His method suggests a very specific routine involving the so-called five S's: swaddling, the side or stomach position (for calming your baby, not for sleeping), shushing, swinging, and sucking.
Sleep training will look a little bit different for every family, depending on what method you choose to follow. The different methods require different tactics from the parents in order to be successful. Melissa’s tip: take notes! Having a record of how your baby has progressed throughout the sleep training will come in handy when you’re too tired to remember how long (or little) they slept the previous night.

Sleep training will look a little bit different for every family, depending on what method you choose to follow. The different methods require different tactics from the parents in order to be successful. Melissa’s tip: take notes! Having a record of how your baby has progressed throughout the sleep training will come in handy when you’re too tired to remember how long (or little) they slept the previous night.
There is no right or wrong method of sleep training; it all comes down to your unique baby and your unique parenting style. What works well for some babies does not work well for others, so do not be surprised if the techniques your friends or family members recommend don’t work the same way for your baby. The bottom line is to choose a technique that you feel comfortable with, and that you think will work well with your baby’s temperament.

Sleep training is a loaded phrase, and one that is often used synonymously with letting your baby self-soothe, or “cry it out,” but that’s not the whole picture, says Alanna McGinn, a certified sleep consultant and the founder of Good Night Sleep Site. “It’s more about being able to teach your baby that they are capable of falling asleep independently,” she says. You want your baby to be able to nod off on their own—ideally without nursing, rocking or using a pacifier—because whatever tools they use to fall asleep at bedtime are the same things they’re going to wake up looking for during the night. Yes, this can feel unloving and even downright cruel. You’ll find experts on both sides of the issue: Breastfeeding advocates say it’s normal for babies of all ages to wake up multiple times to nurse, and even the sleep coaches interviewed for this article disagree with how much crying and distress are acceptable.

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